Home All Pre-pregnancy Part 1: Is this it?

Pre-pregnancy Part 1: Is this it?

written by Nurul Zulkifli 23rd March 2017

Sorry it took me a while (actually a long time) to write hehe.. Been too caught up with work as usual!  Before i go further and bore my readers with my story, do you see any difference on my blog layout now? Hehe I would like to congratulate the two lucky winners that suggested a title for my blog! I swear i couldn’t pick the winner and it took me a few days to decide, thank you everyone for being such good sports! Congratulations Balqis and Aneesa, I sure hope you love my gifts!

Anyways, I promised to share about my road to pregnancy so I guess it’s time?

But before we begin, would you like a walk down memory lane with me and Mr. Bij? I’d start telling you guys anyway if you say no. HAHAHA.

So anyway, Mr. Bij and I met in Australia back when we both were still studying. It wasn’t a love at first sight, it wasn’t the kind of love where you accidentally bumped into one another on campus and he helped picked up your books that got thrown away when the two of you collided, it wasn’t the typical kind of love where you’d see in the movies. It was simple. It was easy. It was what we both wanted (please don’t get nauseated ).

Mr. Bij has always been that supportive husband. We got married after he finished his studies and I still had another year to finish. So, being the ever so clingy yet supportive husband that he is, he followed me back to Aussie and waited for me to finish my Masters. After we got married, Mr Bij and I didnt really think of having a baby straight away, at least not until I finished my studies although at some point in our lives back then, we were still trying. I think it was more about rezeki back then. You know, its like “Kalau ada nanti, ada lah”. We were like that. We didn’t push ourselves but if ever Allah wanted to send us a baby in my belly, we would be delighted to have it.

Then again, Allah has greater plans for us.

We came back to Malaysia for good a year later and that was when the pressure kicked in. Why pressure? Well, to all married couples out there, be it those who recently got married or those who’ve been married for years but still no luck with babies, I’m pretty sure we can vibe through this issue. All the aunties and uncles and distant relatives whom we only met once in every five years or so would always ask: “Bila nak pregnant?” “Don’t you want kids?” “Are you not trying hard enough?”

To be honest, insensitive questions like that would normally riled me up. But thank goodness for a patience and understanding husband who would always talked me out of things to calm me down (bless you, Mr Bij!). I mean, how insensitive can some people be? Sheeesh.

So anyway, after years of trying and hard luck, I finally decided to see a gynaecologist. My first gynae check up was painful I regretted going hahaha. I kid you not, the HSG x-ray test was mad, I was already cursing myself silently for wanting to do this, but no pain no gain, my ladies! 6 months after the excruciating test, my pregnancy test kit still came out negative. It was heartbreaking the first time because I was already hopeful that it was going to work. Although I no longer put pressure on myself about pregnancy despite having many people around me asking about it, I could still consider myself lucky because most of my friends back then were still single. My answer every time, whenever people ask me about having kids will just be so generic like “Belum sampai rezeki” “Still honeymoon”. But boy it broke my heart to say it. Deep down, I was already so heartbroken not even another honeymoon with Mr. Bij could mend my heartbreak (well it depends tho to where the location is hehe).

I remember meeting a lot of friends and relatives and they would suggest me a traditional tukang urut that I should go to every time. I took people’s suggestions as a sign, a sign that maybe if I try it might actually work. Years after years after years, I was still NOT pregnant. I was in a lot of pressure when it hit me that I was already 30 and the friends I spent my time with are all married and have kids running around. And then I heard of IVF and IUI. I couldn’t accept the fact that I had no choice but to try those options and not doing it naturally but if I didn’t do it then, I wouldn’t be here with these babies, yes?

I’m currently in my second trimester and it still feels surreal. The fact that I wanted one, but He gave me TWO at the same time. Who would have even thought of this? I’m in my second trimester now, but the excitement is still there. I don’t think the excitement would ever end, hahaha excuse this over-excited mom to be.

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To all of you out there who’s still trying to conceive, remind yourself to never give up. Miracles happen everyday. If you ever feel like quitting, just ask yourself this: “What if I try tomorrow, I might succeed?”. Life is full of surprises. We’ll never know when will we be getting our box full of chocolates, so while you’re still at it, give your best and never stop praying and trying.

To dear husbands, your support and understanding are what we hope you’d offer. Nothing soothing other than having your support to get through what we believe one of the disappointing days of our lives. After all, we’re in this together, yes?

To friends and relatives, we appreciate your concern and do keep us in your prayers. We never know one’s pain or heartbreak until we go through it on our own.

So what was your pre-pregnancy experience? Share with me in the comment box below! 🙂

21 comments

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21 comments

Rina 24th March 2017 at 2:07 am

Hi Nurul,

Seriously interested to know which gynae did you get a successful treatment and which hospital? I have done IVF but it was fail, thought of changing a gynae and trying again..

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Tulip 25th March 2017 at 10:06 am

Can you share your ivf journey.. ? Would love to read n learn. You inspires me. I will not quit. Miracles happen everyday..yup. We all should trust in him.

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Jackie 25th March 2017 at 10:33 am

Hi Nurul,
My story on the other hand is pretty much different than yours. I got pregnant just after I got married, and I guess it wasn’t a very beautiful journey because some friends and relatives seems to disapprove of us getting pregnant too quickly. they said why don’t you honeymoon first la, you don’t seem ready, kan dah kena jaga anak muda2 lagi pergi jalan2 enjoy2 lah dulu bla3. My regret is that I took their comments hard that I started to sort of like dislike my pregnancy. boy did this child brought us happiness and change my views in life! after 2 years my husband and i decided to have more kids because we’re crazy in love with babies! but it didn’t happened straight away like the first time, and here we are still trying after one year. ironically though this relative yang perli2 dulu have started asking when are we going to have a second child. this time it hurts me the most because i miss being pregnant and i really want a baby again so so much. enjoy your pregnancy, nurul. it’s going to be a blast.

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DN 28th March 2017 at 8:38 am

Hi Nurul! Agree with Rina and Tulip. Would be great if you could share with us your IUI/IVF journey because I’m sure many of your readers here are of those trying to conceive, contemplating on deciding whether to proceed with IVF or keep trying to conceive naturally (ok clearly I’m talking about myself here hehehe)… and are inspired by your beautiful pregnancy! ☺️ Nevertheless, thanks for sharing your experience and please do keep the stories coming! Oh and yes, HSG? Sakit gila pls! 😖 Haha Have a great day and may all go well for you and babies, InshaaAllah.

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Farrah 29th March 2017 at 11:02 am

Hi Nurul,

Good luck and all the best in your pregnancy journey. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful babies! 🙂

I am currently being married for 1year plus (still new!) but yet to get pregnant. However, last January I decided to start to do check ups & yesssss the HSG test is damn painful I cried during the process. T_T

And now I just did my IUI last Monday, and hopefully to get a positive result in another 14 days. Pray for me! xo

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Haya 29th March 2017 at 10:16 pm

Asslm nurul,
I’m married for almost 4 years and still no sign of the good news.Really grateful for having a wonderful and supportive husband beside me but yeah we know how is the feeling of heartbreak to hear other people getting pregnant,babies etc..however,we keep smiling and trying to hide our feelings..OK so let’s smile and do share your experience and ttc journey with us..can’t wait!haha

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Mira 29th March 2017 at 10:31 pm

Hi Nurul.
i just got baby twins last february. i’m very grateful to Allah for ease me delivery my babies. not scesors, but a normal delivery. because both babies are heads down. but my baby was premature. because i delivered them on 35 weeks. but my morning sickness is really extreme. it lasted almost my third trimester. i can’t eat and drink. i can do nothing. just laying down and enjoy my bad day. really jealous with you that still can stand in audiance. proud of you strong mommy!!

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Hanim 30th March 2017 at 11:34 am

Assalam Nurul,
Congratulations and May Allah ease everything.
My stories – I got pregnant after 3 years of married. I was very hurtful that time because not – so – close relatives always ask me when to get pregnant, don’t u want a baby? I’m so lucky because I have a very supportive husband, parents and in laws. Every time people asked me, I will said..doakan….insyaAllah….belum ada rezeki….sometimes, I wanna answer…jap, nak beli kat giant….huhuhuhu…
Sometimes, the makcik said that their daughter/ niece straight away get pregnant after married…it is hurtful, because not everybody get that rezeki. We did everything, from urut, met ustaz and fertility treatment from gynae…my husband said he will eat tali kasut if needed…huhu..
In March 2012, we went to perform umrah and I decided that I will start with my IVF after I get my period. My period didn’t come in April, and I don’t want to make a pregnancy test yet (always kecewa..)So, 1 May, I did my pregnancy test and Alhamdulillah, its positive! I did my pregnancy test 5 times to make it sure… Alhamdulillah…anak Mekah…
Long story short, right now I have soon to be 5 years old daughter. The questions now is when to get adik for her….huhuhuhu…
What can I say..Allah has a better plan for us…we have to pray, be patience and believe that His plan is the best for us…just ignore what people will say to you…and good things may come those who wait.
Congrats again Nurul..You’re going to be a great mommy!
P/s : I love MimpiKita..maybe mommy-daughter matchy-matchy outfits after this..

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mal 30th March 2017 at 11:37 am

very inspiring nurul! i wish you and babies in good health until u deliver..take care and keep writing your TTC journey..may allah ease your pregnancy journey..keep going babe..anyway i enjoyed your belly photos <3

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Aura 30th March 2017 at 5:15 pm

Salam Nurul,

This is my first time here, I just get very emotional hearing people stories about TTC and i wanted to share mine, maybe it will benefit others.
I got pregnant after 4 years. I do fertility treatment with numerous so called famous dr at that time not to mention the makcik-makcik urut. I consume jelly gamat, bean sprout water and what ever people, (including the internet) told me to eat to make me more fertile. I even went for operation because i have retroverted uterus – which some dr say is not the problem why i still cannot conceived (It is just like being left handed, but you still can write). But I just follow what my dr told me to do to increase my chances to get pregnant. It was a painful operation and to make it worst i was suffering from terrible flu and coughing hard at that time, but still my dr insist to proceed with the operation. Can you imagine, when you are being cut down there, like having c section and your uterus being repaired, it is so painful when coughing, feeling like your stomach is going to burst..

So after 2 month, the dr want to do IUI treatment because I am still not pregnant. I told my husband, NO- i’m still sore down there and no way they want to do things to me again. After the operation, dr gave me some medications and vitamins, including habatussauda in pill forms, so i decided to continue taking the habatussauda (from sabit bayani company). I did not do anything for a year except taking habatussauda. Every time before I take it, I will make niat that Nabi Mohd once said this is the cure of all disease except death, so please ya Rabb cure my disease and make it easy for me to conceive. I also make duaa on my last sujud in prayer the dua of Nabi Zakaria dan duaa from surah imran: 38 (which i still continue doing till today). I also asked people who are going to mecca for umrah & hajj to make duaa for me. Alhamdulillah, a year later I was pregnant. Now, i’m blessed with 3 daughters – alhamdulillah.

The most important thing i learn in my journey to TTC is never asked married people about getting pregnant and unmarried people about getting married. It is all beyond our control. I will share my TTC journey if people wanted to know, or else i just keep quiet and make dua that Allah will give them ease in their life and may their prayers got answered.

To Nurul, may Allah make it easy for you to deliver two healthy babies, and give you loaaaaaadssss of patient in handling them 🙂 double happiness, double trouble hehehehe
To all who are in TTC journey from my deepest heart, I pray that Allah will make it easy for you to conceived and deliver a very healthy baby. If it is not your rezeki to have any, i hope Allah will make you redha and may you are blessed with other blessing which will make you content.

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zara 31st March 2017 at 7:36 am

Aura,
Yes, appreciate if u can share ur ttc journey..and which hospital u went for retro uterus opt?

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Aura 3rd April 2017 at 11:27 am

Zara,

I went to Hospital Pantai Bangsar for the operation.

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Nur 27th May 2017 at 11:14 am

Hi zara
I also retro uterus…May i know cost of the operation?

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Aura 9th August 2017 at 3:12 pm

It was RM8k++ if i’m not mistaken and that was in 2007. sorry for the late reply

Aura 9th August 2017 at 4:59 pm

The operation was covered by insurance at that time

Kam 26th April 2017 at 10:45 pm

Hi Aura, my situation is quite similar to yours.. heading towards the idea of ivf. And recently i was too being suggested for an operation to fix my retroverted uterus .. but im not sure if im up for it ..worried if it would be risky.. i found out i was pregnant, after 3 years of marriage , but i had an early misscarriage .. and it happen a week before my appoitment , with the dr whom suggested for that operation… do u think the operation is necessary … 🙁 appreciate your opinion

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Aura 9th August 2017 at 3:55 pm

so sorry to hear the news 🙁 i just can imagine how happy you are when you found out that u r pregnant.
I don’t think i’m the right person to give you an opinion on this coz i’m not an expert. But lots of Dr out there didn’t think that operation is necessary for retroverted uterus. It is not something to be corrected because it is just like some of us are left handed- they write with their left hand while lots of people write with their right hand. Still they can write right? That is the analogy i’m being told when i consult another Dr.
How ever i can tell you, the operation is painful and i still have pain in my lower tummy everytime i carry heavy stuff. Sometimes when i carried my 2 yrs old for a long time (she is very heavy) it still hurts – even after nearly 10 years of doing it.
If you tell me what makes me do it.. well my Dr is very famous and experienced gynea- I think he knows better; it was covered by insurance but most importantly I don’t know what to do, maybe i was afraid being labelled as not being ‘berusaha’ enough. The Dr. told me it should increase my percentage of getting pregnant, but i’ve had a friends who have retroverted uterus, still they have no problem conceiving.
To tell you the truth i don’t know whether the operation is the main factor that trigger the pregnancy for me, i just hope it was counted as one of my ‘usaha’ to get pregnant before i give my tawakal to God.
I pray may you will have a great and happy pregnancy(ies) – (mine is sure not a happy one 🙂 ) and will deliver a healthy baby-ies soon.

feel free to contact me at caligaura@gmail.com if you have any questions.

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Suhana 30th March 2017 at 7:51 pm

Hi Nurul!

I’m also a mom to be to a twin soon.
Yes another 1 or 2 weeks time as scheduled.
Dispite can’t for mine, i’m also excited for yours.
Nothing serious advice from me, just enjoy the journey, and whenever u feel can’t take it anymore just calm & count it as a blessing.
Never underestimate what u capable of being a mom.
We are the choosen one! I hope we both can take this to the end.
InshaaAllah 😘

Soon to be Mama of Three

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Kam 26th April 2017 at 10:48 pm

Hi Nurul ! Very inspiring as i am too TTC.. i would really like to know, if u could share which dr did u go to for the ivf , and which facilities etc… would really appreacite it 🙂 take good care !

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Farisha 10th May 2017 at 8:37 pm

Hi,tq nurul for sharing your story n inviting others to share their experience n exchanging infos as well.It is not uncommon these days for couples to have difficulties in conceiving,even from among my family & friends.
I myself conceived my daughter after 8 years of marriage. That is via my 3rd IVF. I had my first IVF when i was in Beijing. Back in Malaysia we did the IVF with Dato’ Dr. Prashant at KL Fertility Centre,had 4 embryos,transferred 2 and had another 2 frozen. Failed the first cycle.Few months after we transferred the frozen embryos and dgn rezeki Allah my daughter was born 32 weeks after,albeit preemie she is now a healthy,full of life 3 years old girl.
We are now residing in Kathmandu,Nepal and decided to expand the broods. Heard they have the IVF facilities here,decided to try my luck.Failed my first IVF here or shall i say my fourth one.Tried different hospital and Alhamdulillah im currently pregnant with twins approaching my 2nd trimester tomorrow.
All i can say is never lose hope,keep on trying despite the tears,difficulties and emotional rollercoaster ride.Always put in mind that Allah is the best planner.In my case i can only conceived via IVF – ICSI which i consider as the last resort,medically. Alhamdulillah despite having to wait, Allah still give me the opportunity to become a mother.
I pray that others mom to be who is ttc,will have their awaited rizq knocking on their door or tummy soon,InshaAllah.

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ivf for infertility 31st May 2017 at 3:05 pm

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